Many rides have accrued since our last post. I’ve thought daily of each ride. I wanted to share them here. Maybe I would open up about last week’s misfortune. There was so much funny business I forgot about it. However, today stopped me in my tracks. The first woman to get in the car had the biggest framed glasses which opened the discussion to men’s opinion. She told me about her most recent sexual encounter and I leaned into trauma from last weeks. I shared the goodness I learned because I have to feel alive again. We parted ways in the Walmart parking lot and another ding showed up on my phone. Crazy how strangers can vent vomit more comfortably with me, I thought but I was grateful for the space.

Soon I had another woman in the car. I had waited a while for her in an optometrist parking lot. It was the same company where I needed to grab my prescription from. This would allow me to get manly offensive glasses from the suggested website the previous rider had suggested. “Weird” I thought.

I offered to play this new lady rider a choice in music, and politely she said “whatever works”. She didn’t care and returned to her phone feverishly on task. I hadn’t made it three words into Queen Herbies Violence song, til the rider started speaking on her phone. Words that caught my attention were ” Police” “Kidnapping” “How do I continue onward with this”.

I turned down the music. and shifted my mirror so I could give her eye contact. During the next 30 minutes, this woman shared with me a deeply personal story. She told me how her 7-year-old daughter had been missing for the last 3 years. The daughter had returned home after the riders intuition to vehemently find her arose, this December. Her daughter was taken in the middle of the night by the father during a drug psychosis and disappeared. No trace for 3 years, wandering the streets of Oregon homeless. The rider shared how there were nights not knowing if her daughter was dead or alive. The most upsetting part is the comment made by the Idaho cops to the rider. This happened after she had physical evidence of child abuse. He said ” Well if this happens again…….” completely invalidating the whole experience this little girl had gone through.

When we made it about 15 minutes into the ride, I was already crying my face off. I was offering resources to EMDR counselors in the valley. Im not a mother, but I am a human. I would never claim to understand the experience this rider has gone through. Therefore, I can’t end it with saying “I know how you feel” or “I understand”. Yet, I will always suggest resources I have to others who can help. This gesture lightened the atmosphere. During a moment of silence, I asked her, “How are you taking care of yourself?” That’s how this information was obtained, and the topic changed to Recovery Coaching. She told me the destination we were headed to was an organization contracted to document her progress in sobriety. (She has 2 years) This was done by providing group facilitation and counselors. She shared that she doesn’t relate with a lot of the tools provided because of her length in sobriety. I suggested she go to Recovery Coaching Training Academy. When she graduates from her organization, she should ask for a job there.

She looked me in the eye when we parted. She said, “I am really grateful I got you as a driver today.” Thank you for helping me.”

All I could think about was the lesson she gave me. After the horrid abuse her daughter had endured, adjusting back to life is going to be difficult. The part that stuck out to me the most was the level of forgiveness. This child forgave a bully at school despite inconsistency, and words. The capacity her child has for forgiveness is what broke me. If you ever get a chance to read Neal Donald Walsh’s book ” The Little Soul of the Sun”. She is the soul he is describing in that story