The Strangers Compass: From Solitude to Strength

Chapter 1

The last 7 days have been a whirlwind. Even as I type that sentence, I am mixed with emotions. Fear, anger, hatred… relief, joy, gratitude, love. First, before I indulge you with you Valentines Drama, I want to share some end results, and ask you…. are they positive or negative outcomes. I don’t know if everyone has this prospective. I see events solely as isolated experiences, forgetting …. flowers need the rain. Its like every drop that hit a pedal, I shamed it for hydrating my roots.

End Results; 1) During my first Uber ride, I had a 90 year old woman in my back seat. She was headed home to the north end of downtown Boise. This area is usually high rent for the rest of us middle class peasants trying to afford groceries. I digress, trying to not be judgmental is a work in progress for me. We bantered back and forth, gauging how vulnerable the other was. Then shit got real. Reaaaal quick. She shared how she still swims 3 days a week, but used to do triathlons. To this day, she swims AND runs. The conversation caught my attention. This happened because I suggested to myself, “Maybe you should start working out again.” And, “Do walks every morning with your dog.” To avoid self pity, I changed the subject quickly and regretted it more. She was a widow, of THREE husbands. After she informed me, she giggled and said “Who needs men anyways? They only take your hard-earned money. They sleep with anything that has legs.” She busted up laughing. Boy did I relate with that statement too. If she only knew what had just been at stake for me with my last love affair, she would understand. My experiences were deeper than she might imagine, and boy did we share a common ground. As we approached the end of her fifteen-minute ride home, she shared a lengthy TED talk with me. It focused on how lucky it is to be a woman in today’s society. The passenger informed me of her trials just to earn a living between the 1960’s and 1980’s. She had an abusive husband and society at the time had no policies in place for women’s rights. She was never taken seriously when she said she was attacked. Instead, she was shamed and chastised. Desperate to leave, she would try to find income. One particular instance she reflected on, which made my HAIR stand. In the 1980’s she had applied to be a State Farm Agent, and was denied. Wanna know why? They told her they already had a woman in Idaho working and they didn’t need another one! I dropped her off, and she was so joyful even invited me in for tea. I had another ride scheduled which is where shit gets weird for me.

As Im driving, I am reflecting. Here I am, going to school for my Master’s degree. I have a long resume of experiences which qualify me to make more money than I do. I am also graced with resources that had to be earned, through trails like Passenger 1. These experiences have shaped how I move in the world. I am complaining about not being hired at the “job” I want. I saw myself differently in two ways within 15 minutes. Ungrateful, unappreciative, and selfish.

Now I have to remind you though, this was AFTER my worst week ever. She was the first real person I interacted with. She did not know my story or anything about me. Have you ever met a stranger who completely changed your perspective? Did this interaction make you realize something? Whatever was bothering you was not that bad. It did not make you feel like the world was ending, but forming.

I arrive at my next stop. This bubbly woman sits in the back, and again I start with my pitch. Trying to break the ice, when she asked me. “Did you go to Kuna High”…I say sheepishly “Yes” while trying to find some familiarity in her voice. “Didn’t you used to run in cross country?” again I say “Yesss.” I am more unsure now. This person definitely knows who I am, but I have no idea who they are. She shares who she is and I shit you not, she was my ultimate roadkill back in high school. I remember her always being in front of me, taking first place for our school. It’s ironic that she got into the car. Of all the people, this happened after my suggestion and inspiring conversation with a 90-year-old woman. Is magic. Its synchronicity. Its divine alignment. Or would you need to lock me up in a mental ward? LOL just kidding.

What would you think? Would you have noticed? Or would these experiences stuck out like a sore thumb?

I shared these experiences with my mentor, and she suggested after the trials of last week, to share the positives. I also had a great conversation with my grandma about Co-dependence and the drama triangle. We established healthy boundaries and were able to leave both feeling validated. This would have NEVER happened a week ago. During the last 7 days, I had to get off a medication that made me so angry. All I saw was rage after a while. Now ….. I just want to keep this peace going and share what I see in the mean time. One day Ill start that podcast.