Two common phrases I’ve heard within the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous, while exploring my spiritual quest for a higher power greater than me. Each higher power I have been graced with meeting have been Hekate, Hestia, Aphrodite and now Athena. Ironically, each goddess has brought me through the series of steps, we as addicts must begrudgenling trudge across to reach the other side. Hope and a new way to live.

Hekate- the goddess of witchcraft was more to me like a guardian angel, keeping me away from deaths door while I explored life in early in recovery. She is the embodiement of the womans journey through life, and at 28 I believe that year was an initiation to become who I was ment to me in this life.

Hestia- The goddess of friendship, and the hearth that keeps the home warm presented herself at 3 years clean, when I had officially moved into my first place as an adult. At 31 she had encouraged this journey by blessing me with my best friend to be my roommate. Alot of spellwork was done with her but no stepwork.

Aphrodite- She was not who I wanted to work with but she was admimant. Like the most beautiful girl in school who anyone could have, but the person she wanted didnt even see her. I didnt want to work with love or anything she had to represent I wanted to work with Athena. Yet everytime I chose a statue and asked the customer retail attendant “Now who is this?”—-“oh thats the beautiful Aphrodite” I would feel my knees get weak and palms sweat. See. Here is the thing. Not only am I a recoverying addict- alcohol, meth, bath salt,- I am also a previous hooker, stripper and love addict. I was scared of Aphrodite because she held the key to the door I had no hindges on. She was gonna set me straight and oh boy did she. I met the love of my life through her, that or the lesson of my life. We shall see.

Now — I am with Athena. Still have yet to get her statue and create a space for her to do magic with but. Its fitting because I just got a new sponsor, and I will be working my 5th set of steps……on my addiction to men/sex/ and money.

I want to share this experience because I know it will help me more when I document my spiritual experiences, because I just dont feel heard anymore and my experiences are for my soul growth. This blog is for me to keep sacred and within the confinement of laptop screen priveledges. I really dont care who reads it, I just hope that my recovery helps the next person that they can choose any goddess (or god) they want and have fun working with them.

“I am both the sacred breath that moves through me, and the bones that hold me up.”